Shonda Rhimes’ Practical Advice Women Dreamers Can Use

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Shonda Rhimes’ Scandal rules my life. Everyone knows—no calls, no texts, no meetings and no business. Curled up on my couch, my Twitter sees the most action it gets all week, as I tweet #Scandal’s most shocking moments. I am drawn in not only by the shockers, but by Kerry Washington’s "go getter" character, Olivia Pope. Her war cry ignites her team, the Gladiators, to find a solution to messy scandals. 

As the woman behind the Shondaland brand, delivered the commencement address at her alma mater. She channeled her inner Olivia Pope by galvanizing the Dartmouth graduates with a "no task too hard" Gladiator speech. In listening, I thought all my fellow dreamers could use some of Shonda's wisdom. 

“Ditch the dream and be a doer, not a dreamer.”

I understand why Shonda dismissed dreaming, but dreaming is still an important part of the journey. You have to visualize your next. However, dreamers can get caught up in the easy part of the process—dreaming! It requires no work. It’s fun to imagine what it will look like, how much fun it’ll be, how much free time you’ll have, how much you’ll get paid, how much more fulfilled you’ll be if you’re going after your dreams. It’s like Pinterest (can we say Pinterest addict).

Truthfully, Pinterest isn’t about doing, it’s really a collection of daydreams with a few pins of stuff we’ll actually do. Unlike your pins, life has to be about doing not daydreaming. At some point, you have to say I got it; this is what I want to do, so now I have to figure out how I’m going to get it done. That’s why I emphasize you must have a strategy (a to-do list and an accountability person) to ensure you don’t spend the next twenty years daydreaming and not ACTUALIZING!

Dreams only manifest for those ready to start grinding. Contrary to what you may have heard, you can’t vision board enough, pray enough, visualize and meditate enough to make it happen. Those practices are wonderful, but they exist to build your confidence by embracing the possibility. It still requires work. Once you begin your work, the Universe begins to present opportunities that further your dream.

Don’t envision being your hero. Instead, envision your own possibility because someone needs what you will offer!

Shonda Rhimes jokingly shared how her dream leaving Dartmouth was to become Toni Morrison; it was not to be a producer. Ironically, when she had dinner with her “shero”, Toni Morrison didn’t talk about her work as an author, instead the conversation centered on Shonda’s show, Grey’s Anatomy. I have found many women that admire other women’s lives to the point that they rather mimic or wish for it, rather than find their unique stamp to put on the world. Raises hand, I have been guilty myself of wishing for someone else’s life.

The point of your dream is that you have a unique vision and giftedness that someone needs. I can’t imagine a world without shows like Scandal or novels that leave impressions like Sula. (affiliate link) But that was their gift to the world. My gift is different. You can admire other women’s accomplishments, but you can’t be them. As Rhimes pointed out, they are already filling that position, so there is no room for you to be them. Dream to be you!

Don’t believe the lie, you can’t do it all!

You have to decide what’s important to you and what’s important is relative to your life at the moment. Rhimes became transparent as she told the graduates, when people ask how she does it all her true response is, “She doesn’t.” In order for her to be excellent in one area, then she has dropped the ball in another area.

I can’t be at all times the perfect daughter, granddaughter, sister, girlfriend, minister, writer and entrepreneur. I am slowly learning the lesson that she communicated to the graduates. Balls are going to drop, but I have to decide which balls I can drop. You have to be ready to decide your values, it’s the key to knowing what you are willing to let drop. Some days I am missing in action, some days I decide to talk on the phone for hours with my bestie and just stay up late working. Every day I have to decide where my energy will be directed and where I have decided to put my energy I have to trust was the best place at that time. The sooner you free yourself from the guilt of letting a ball drop, the quicker you can get to making the best choice for you at that time because even resting is part of dream building.  

Shonda closed out her address by declaring her dreams didn’t come true and they can suck it, but I’m a believer in dreams. A dream is really your passions trying to come to the surface so I say dream on, but more importantly DO the work to manifest your dreams!

Leave a comment and share what dreams are you working on making happen right now?